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Conan O’Brien is returning to television. Last week, fellow comedian George Lopez welcomed Conan to cable network TBS.

Fans are excited to see what Conan has in store. Will he reprise popular skits such as the self-pleasuring bear? NBC owns the rights to the skit. Conan has said he will fight for his masturbating bear in court.

Conan left NBC after Jeff Zucker tried to force Conan and his Tonight Show out of the 11:30pm time slot. [WATCH ANIMATION HERE].

Viewers in Taiwan are unable to watch Conan on TV because TBS isn’t generally available here. However, they will be able to watch Conan on his website.

Chinese subtitles here:

Australian Rugby League star Joel Monaghan is facing the sack after a picture of him engaged in a ‘lewd act’ with a dog appeared on the Internet. Police and rugby officials have launched a probe while the RSPCA has also expressed outrage.

What’s your take on Monaghan’s “moment of madness?”

All 68 people including 28 foreigners aboard AeroCaribbean Flight 883 were killed when it crashed in a mountainous region in central Cuba, while 21 people died when a private plane chartered to an Italy-based oil company went down near the airport in Karachi, Pakistan.

In what Canadian authorities are calling an “unbelievable case of concealment,” a person who appeared to be an elderly white man boarded a plane in Hong Kong and alighted in Canada as a young Asian man. The passenger changed out of his disguise in the airplane’s bathroom during the flight. Upon arrival he was escorted off the plane by Border Services Officers and applied for refugee status.

Tea Party candidate Rand Paul has defeated Democratic challenger Jack Conway to become the next Senator for Kentucky.

Rand seemed like a pretty cool guy back in college.

Some of his supporters, however, don’t seem much fun to be around.

The magic of Tea Party Express candidate Christine O’Donnell was not enough to overcome Democratic challenger Chris Coons.

Coons easily trounced O’Donnell to become the next senator for Delaware.

It’s too bad, because O’Donnell provided more comedic fodder than her boring political opponent.

The Democrats, however, must be happy. They were expecting to run a competitive race against Republican establishment candidate Mike Castle, until he lost to everyone’s favorite anti-masturbation candidate.

Sigh, we’ll miss O’Donnell.

Guest starring David Abitbol as Bank Worker.

America is still reeling from the Great Recession, but the people responsible for this mess have opted to give themselves a record-high $144 billion or more in compensation and benefits for 2010.

To put that figure in perspective, that’s the amount President Bush asked Congress to spend on a stimulus package in 2008.

To be fair, Wall Street revenue is expected to rise slightly, and most of the big banks have paid the US government back the money it used to bail them out of the financial crisis. But they’re also benefiting from the low interest rates the Federal Reserve is using to stimulate the economy, which they wrecked. And now they’ve brought us “Foreclosure-gate.”

So why do these people need to have their tax breaks extended?

Aussie carrier Qantas grounded its entire fleet of Airbus A380s after the engine on one exploded shortly after take off from Singapore. The plane landed safely back at Singapore after dumping fuel. An investigation into the cause of the explosion is underway.

Have you ever been on a plane that suffered a ‘mishap’? What did you do?

At least 58 people were killed and 78 wounded when Iraqi militants took over a church during mass sparking a battle with security forces. An al-Qaeda linked group claimed responsibility for the attack on the Our Lady on Salvation church during evening mass on Sunday in the Iraqi capital.

What should Iraq’s Christians do?

Alaskans are in for a long wait for a final result after write in ballots topped the list in the Senate race between the Tea Party’s Joe Miller and Lisa Murkowski.

Murkowski waged a write-in campaign after losing to Tea Party candidate Joe Miller in the primary. This meant she had to teach everyone how to spell her name in addition to filling in an oval thingy on the ballot.

Write-in votes exceed total votes gathered by either Miller or the guy who ran on the Democratic ticket. So now comes the long count, but by the time the result is known no one outside of Alaska will likely care.

A 17-year-old Chinese man who posed as a female and entered a sham marriage with the intent of stealing the dowry was busted after the groom’s perverted uncle tried it on with “her’ on the wedding night.

Scary? What would you have done?

Dude! Whoa! That Prop 19 thing … that was today? Like, I like totally missed it.

I had set my alarm to roll out of bed at 4:20pm and then, like, I don’t know what happened.

I hit McD’s to get a McRib and I saw Spicoli there and he’s like, you wanna hang out? And I was like, sure man!

Lucky I still got my prescription from the doctor or I’d be totally bummed!

The year, the Donkey got stomped by the Elephant. As the polls predicted, there was a bumper crop of GOP victories. The Republicans regained control of the House, while the Democrats managed to hang onto the Senate.

In Nevada, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid eventually won out over Tea Party challenger Sharron Angle.

In Washington’s senate race, the race is still too close to call between incumbent Democrat Patty Murray and Republican challenger Dino Rossi.

Republican Rand Paul took the Senate seat in Kentucky, beating Democratic opponent Jack Conway.

In Alaska, write-in ballots could put Lisa Murkowski on top.

In California, Meg Whitman’s money wasn’t enough to buy her the California governorship. Likewise, fellow Silicon Valley alum Carly Fiorina failed to win her senate race.

In Delaware, Tea Partier Christine O’Donnell was trounced by Democrat Chris Coons. In New York, Tea Partier Carl Paladino lost by a wide margin to Democrat Andrew Cuomo.

William Lynch, 43, turned himself into California police on Friday for the savage May 10 attack that saw Jesuit priest Jerold Lindner nearly beaten to death. Lynch told police the attack was revenge for the abuse he and his brother suffered at the hands of Lindner more than 30 years ago at a Church summer camp.

What’s your take on Lynch’s behavior?

A cop has been suspended from duty in Changhua County after he hit and killed a pensioner while driving home from a drinking session with a friend. He was so drunk he drove the 5km home without realizing the old man’s bike was stuck under his car.

What do you think should happen to the cop?

A homestay boss in Taiwan’s Hualien City has closed shop and disappeared after being accused of drugging guests with tainted cake and coffee before molesting them. The man disappeared shortly after being released by prosecutors.

What would you have done if you’d caught him checking you out in the shower? Leave a comment below.

Citizens Against Government Waste have released one of the finest pieces of ‘yellow peril’ propaganda since Sax Rohmer began publishing Fu Manchu novels.

Wow! They really nailed us! Yes, we’ll laugh at your demise … we’ll chortle and cluck with glee when it comes time to work off your slave debt.

That’s why, like the CAGW’s “Chinese Professor” ad, all of our content at Next Media Animation is in Mandarin. When we crack the whip over your heads and yell “你回去工作!,” we want you to understand what we’re saying, see?

We are so delighted that you are so confident in China’s ascendancy. Lack of democracy or human rights … A creaking financial system … riots and social instability … We’re sure all those problems will be worked out by 2030 when it’s time to assume the leasehold on America!!

But until then, all you really need to know about the US-China relationship can be understood in our evil, Fu Manchu ‘stache-twisting laugh.

Original Video:

In our latest tale of human perversion. A teacher in Japan’s Saitama Prefecture faces censure after it was revealed he used dice to decide punishments for his students. Among the options on the dice were being spat upon and being the teacher’s “lifetime love.” The teacher now awaits news of his own punishment after an investigation was launched into his bizarre behavior.

Do you think it was harmless fun by an innocent old timer or was there something more sinister? Leave a comment below.

A fake magician who claims to be able to “cut up peach blossom” (stop spouses from cheating) and boost wealth has been charged with cheating more than US$26 million from gullible believers. He claims to work Mao-shan magic with dog’s blood, straw dolls and cell phones for communicating with the ghost of dead babies.

Two Russian women paying their respects at a grave got a shock last week when they found a bear eating a freshly dug-up corpse. Experts believe global warming is causing a shortage in bears’ traditional food sources, meaning they have to resort to other forms of sustenance to stay alive.

Do you agree with the experts assessment that global warming is to blame? Leave a comment below.

For more tales of animal madness click here.